9. That Other Woman in My Life
1. After 22 years of marriage, Ive discovered the secret to keeping love and intimacy1 alive in my relationship with my wife, Peggy: I started dating another woman.
1、历程22年的婚姻，我发现怎么样同老婆佩吉维持爱恋和亲密关系的秘密：去约会另一个女性。
2. The other woman my wife was encouraging me to date is my mother, a 72-year-old widow who has lived alone since my father died 20 years ago. Right after his death, I moved 2500 miles away to
California and started my own family and career. When I moved back near my hometown six years ago, I promised myself that
I would spend more time with Mom. But with the demands of my job and three kids, I never got around to seeing her much beyond family get-togethers and holidays.
2、我老婆鼓励我去约会的另一个女性就是我的妈妈，一位72岁的寡妇。20年前爸爸过世后，她一直独居到今天。就在爸爸过世后，我搬到了2500英里以外的加利福尼亚，成家立业。6年前我迁回到挨近老家的地方，那时，我曾承诺要花些时间同母亲在一块。但因为需要兼顾我的工作和3个孩子，除家庭聚会和节假日外，我极少抽时间去看望她。
3. She was surprised and suspicious2, then, when I called and suggested the two of us go out to dinner and a movie. Whats wrong? she asked. My mother thinks anything out of the ordinary signals bad news. I thought it would be nice to spend some
time with you, I said. Just the two of us. Id like that a lot. she replied.
3、我打电话给妈妈，建议大家两个外出一块吃饭、看电影，她感到惊讶和疑惑。出啥事了吗?她问，母亲把任何不一般的信号都当成是坏消息。我想跟你共度一段时光会非常愉快的。我说。就大家两个。那太好了，她答道。
4. As I drove to her house, I actually had a case of predate jitters3 ! What would we talk about? What if she didnt like the restaurant I chose?
4、我开车驶往妈妈住所，竟感到约会前的紧张不安。大家将谈些什么呢?假如她不喜欢我选的饭店如何解决?
5. When I pulled into her driveway, she was waiting by the door with her coat on. Her hair was curled, and she was smiling.
I told my lady friends I was going out with my son, and they were all impressed, she said as she got into my car. They cant
wait to hear about our evening.
5、我的车驶进妈妈家门前的车道时，她已穿好外套等在门口了。她的头发卷好了，面带笑容。我告诉我的女伴们，说我要和儿子一道外出，她们都深受感动，妈妈边说边上了我的车。她们急着想了解大家如何度过今天晚上。
6. We didnt go anywhere fancy, just a neighborhood place where we could talk. My mother clutched4 my arm, half out of affection and half to help
her negotiate5 the restaurant steps. Since her eyes now see only large shapes and shadows, I had to read the menu for both of us.
Halfway6 through reciting the entrees7, I glanced up and saw Mom looking at me, a wistful smile on her lips. I used to be the menureader
when you were little, she said. I understood what she was saying. From caregiver to cared-for, from cared-for to caregiver, our relationship had come full circle. Then its time for you to relax and let me return the favor, I said. We had a nice talk over dinner. Nothing earth-shattering, just catching8 up with each others lives. We talked for so long that we missed the movie. I ll go out with you again, my mother said as I dropped her off, But only if you let me buy dinner next time. I agreed.
6、大家没去高端的饭店，只在附近找了一个便于说话的地方。我的妈妈紧挽着我的胳膊，既是出于对我的慈爱，也是为了自己能扶着我走上饭店的台阶。因为她目前的视力只能看到大致的形状和模糊的影子，我得为我们两个读菜单。我念到一半时，抬头瞥见妈妈正看着我，嘴角泛着若有所思的微笑。你小时候我常念菜单给你听，她说。我了解她的意思。她已从关爱者变为受照顾者，我则从受照顾者变为关爱者，大家的关系倒了个个儿。目前你该轻松轻松了，让我来照顾你。我说。大家边吃边谈，谈得非常不错。没谈什么大事，只不过交谈些彼此的生活状况。大家谈了很久，以致没赶上看电影。我还想跟你一块外出。我送妈妈回去，下车时她说，不过，下次你得让我请客。我答应了。
7. How was your date? my wife asked when I got home that evening. Nice..nicer than I thought it would be, I said. She smiled her told-you-so smile.
7、你的约会如何?那天晚上回家时，老婆问我。很好，比我想的还要好，我说。她笑了，一副早就料到的样子。
8. Mom and I go out for dinner a couple of times a month. Sometimes we take in a movie, but mostly we talk. I tell her about my trials at
work and brag9 about the kids and Peggy. Mom fills me in on family gossip10 and tells me about her past. Now I know what it was like for her
to work in a factory during World War II. I know how she met my father there, and how they nurtured11 a trolley-car courtship through those difficult times. I cant get enough of these stories. They are important to me, a part of my history. We also talk about the future. Because of health problems,
my mother worries about the days ahead. I have so much living to do, she told me once. I need to be there while my grandchildren grow up. I dont want to miss any of it.
8、从此我和母亲每一个月都要外出共进几次晚餐。有时大家也看电影，但大多数时间都是交谈。我跟她讲工作中的烦恼，也向她夸耀佩吉和孩子们。妈妈跟我谈了很多父母里短的事，也对我讲了她过去的历程。目前我了解了她二战期间在一家工厂里做工的状况，并了解她在那里怎么样同爸爸相识的。在那困难的日子里，他们在有轨电车上培育了一段恋爱史。我对这类故事百听不厌。它们对我非常重要，是我历史的一部分。大家也谈论将来。因为健康方面是什么原因，妈妈担忧着以后的日子。我要做的事儿多着呢，有一次她对我说。我要看着孙子、孙女们长大成人。我可什么都不想错过。
9. I tend to fill my calendar to the brim12 as I struggle to fit family, career and friendships into my life. I often complain about how quickly time flies.
Spending time with my mom has taught me the importance of slowing down.
9、忙于应对家庭生活、事业和朋友关系等种种事情，我的日程表一直排得满满的。我常常抱怨时光飞逝。与妈妈共度时光，使我知道了放慢生活步伐的要紧。
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