In Chinese culture how common is it to regularly say I love you?
中国文化里面,大家一般多长时间说一次我爱你?
I cant remember a single time that my parents explicitly1 told me I love you. However, I can clearly remember the day I talked to my dad about King Lear.I told him about how sorry I felt for Lear because he was betrayed by his daughters Goneril and Regan. Lear, knowing that he was getting old, decided2 to split his kingdom among his 3 girls. He proclaimed that he would give the greatest share to the one who loved him most.
So, Goneril and Regan proceed to deceive their father with lavish3 expressions of love. Meanwhile the third daughter, Cordelia, refuses to participate in such false displays. She loves her father too much, and she doesnt want to degrade herself to the level of her sisters. Instead, she says : Then, poor Cordelia! And yet not so; since, I am sure, my loves more richer than my tongue.
Lear is deeply offended and, in a cruel twist of irony4, disinherits the only child who truly loved him. Sadly, he later gets kicked out of his own kingdom by the two daughters who claimed to adore him more than anything in the world.
My fathers response to my retelling of the story was approximately the following:Thats why you dont need to say I love you. Just saying I love youdoesnt necessarily mean your love is real. But if you really love someone, youll show it with your actions.
So although I never heard the words I love you from my parents, I always felt loved because they told me in ways that speak much louder than words. I think many other Chinese feel the same way.