Are you the divorce attorney everyone calls with their marital woes? The accountant who finds that the dinner conversation inevitably turns to whether or not your friends new iPad or trip to Bermuda is tax-deductible? Maybe youre the techie whose friends and parents friends call repeatedly with questions about uploading photos to the cloud or sharing videos online.
身为离婚律师，是否每一个人都给你打电话咨询他们的婚姻危机？身为会计师，你是否发现晚餐的谈话不可防止地转向你朋友的新款iPad平板电脑或百慕大之旅可以免税的话题？又可能，你是位技术专家，你的朋友和爸爸妈妈的朋友会反复打电话，询问怎么样上传照片到云盘或者推荐在线视频？
Its great to be an expert in your field, and its flattering to be asked for your opinion or advice, but sometimes people cross the limits of personal and work-life boundaries. Just because Jonas Salk gave away the polio vaccine for free and Craig Newmark refuses to charge for Craigslist, you dont have to be a philanthropist too. As altruistic as you may be, you dont have to provide unlimited counsel to friends and family around the clock. You should be helpful when you can, but you are entitled to put meaningful limits on the pro bono advice you dish out regularly.
成为你所在范围的专家感觉很好，其他人征求你的建议或建议也叫你颇为得意，不过有时大家越过了个人交往和工作与生活平衡的界限。不可以由于乔纳斯·索尔克免费提供脊髓灰质炎疫苗，克雷格·纽马克拒绝对Craigslist网站收费，你也需要当个慈善家。你或许大公无私，但不必全天候为朋友或家人提供无穷无尽的建议。你应该在你力所能及的时候提供帮助，但你有权为你平时提供的免费建议加上有益的限制。
When you find yourself in situations that push the envelope, determine the amount of "free" time/energy youre willing to dedicate to a friends issue and then give of yourself graciously within that time allotment. Next, give your friend or family member options of how you might continue to be helpful after their initial free pass.
当你发现我们的处境超越极限的时候，那样你要在想致力于解决朋友的问题方面，限定“免费”的时间或精力范围，然后在时间允许的状况下慷慨地帮助他们。下面对你说的朋友或家人，他们在刚开始的免费范围以外，还可以选择什么方法继续获得你的帮忙。
Friends help friends. When someone near and dear to you comes with a question, issue, or problem, be generous and share your talents or expertise freely. Agreeing to spend an hour setting up someones email, 30 minutes reviewing a resume, or an afternoon brainstorming business ideas is well within the bounds of friendly advice and familial give and take. Spending a week setting up a website, troubleshooting tech issues endlessly, or drafting, writing, and reviewing an application to law school is crossing the line.
朋友一直相互帮助。假如有个很亲密的人向你咨询某个问题或事情，你要尽可能慷慨大方，免费推荐你的才华和专业常识。譬如，你想用一个小时处置某人的电子邮件，用30分钟查询一份简历，花一个下午的时间集体讨论经营理念，这类做法都在提供友好建议与为家庭做出奉献与回报的范围内。用一个星期的时间打造一家网站，无休止地解答疑难的高科技问题，或者起草、写作和审核一份法学院申请信，这类做法就越过了界限。
Think about the amount of time or energy that fits into your schedule without undue personal sacrifice and the amount of time necessary to provide real value to the other person. As a career expert, Im happy to give an hour of my time to prepare for a friends performance review, script out asking for a raise or talk through a difficult conversation with the boss. I wont, however, coach you regularly or talk to your employees for free.
想想你要付出多少时间和精力，既合适你的日程安排，又不需要做出过分的个人牺牲，确定向别人提供真的价值所需要的时间。作为一名职业咨询专家，我非常高兴抽出一个小时的时间筹备朋友的营业额评估，写作需要涨薪的腹稿，详细讨论与老板的交流不畅问题。但，我不会按期指导你，也不会免费和你的职员交流。
Just as a houseguest eventually overstays his welcome, so too do people overburden you by assuming youll continue your role as adviser, counselor, therapist, problem solver, or life coach, indefinitely. After sharing your initial thoughts or giving some meaningful advice for free, its entirely acceptable to change the dynamic.
久住难为人。客人待得太久，难免遭人厌烦。大家觉得你会无限时地继续饰演顾问、咨询师、治疗师、问题解决达人或生活教练的角色，最后将给你带来过于沉重的负担。推荐你刚开始的想法、免费提供一些有益的建议之后，改变这种状况是完全合情合理。
If the advice youre providing is directly related to your profession or your side hustle, then be upfront and acknowledge youll need to put together an agreement to make sure youre compensated for your time and energy going forward. If the advice relates simply to a natural talent or hobby but not how you earn your keep, youre still entitled to be compensated.
假如你提供的建议直接关系到你的专业或者你的副业，那就坦白直言，承认你需要达成一项协议，确保你付出的时间和精力可以获得报酬。假如这类建议只不过涉及你的天分或喜好，但并非你的谋生之道，你也仍然有权得到补偿。
once youve established your inability to provide bottomless advice for free, you can then soften the blow. State that youre willing to stay involved on a more casual level for free and serve as a background adviser. This shows you to be generous and genuine in wanting to help while at the same time protecting your professional integrity. It also gives your friend a way to save face if they never had any intention of paying you in the first place.
一旦向人明确，你不可以毫无限制地免费提供建议，你就能减轻对其他人的伤害。你可以表态，想继续以更轻松自在的方法提供免费建议，担任后备顾问的角色。一方面，如此做显示了你的慷慨大度，真心诚意地想帮助其他人，其次也维护了你的职业操守。假如朋友们从来没想过向你付钱的话，这种方法还叫你的朋友保全了面子。
Offering over-the-shoulder advice after the more formal "you-should-pay-me" route communicates that theres a difference between pinging you occasionally with questions and taxing you regularly with real or meaningful work that you should be compensated for.
“你应该付钱给我。”经过如此的交流，将来再蜻蜓点水地继续提供建议，如此就能传达出一个信息：偶尔麻烦你解决问题和常常叫你从事原本应该得到报酬的真的或有意义的工作，两者之间是有不同的。
Lastly, go ahead and recommend others who might help your friends cause. This demonstrates that youre not trying to profiteer here -- you genuinely have your buddys best interest at heart. Perhaps working together formally is just too awkward or uncomfortable, perhaps you dont have the time or capacity no matter the financial arrangement, or perhaps youre really not the best person for the job. Whatever the case, you probably know someone who can help.
最后，推荐其他可能对你朋友的事业有所帮助的人。这表明你并不想借此牟取暴利——你真诚地关心好友的核心利益。或许只不过由于双方正式的合作会感觉太尴尬，或者叫人感到不舒服，或许你单纯只不过由于没时间或者能力解决问题，跟钱没关系，又或许你并非做这份工作的最好人选。无论是哪种状况，你都可能认识某个可以帮上忙的人。
You owe it to yourself to not undermine the value of your time. While youre happy to give and share advice when appropriate, youre not in the business of being taken for a ride. Have enough self-respect and confidence to value your time and energy appropriately and help out when you can. But dont feel forced to do Aunt Ednas taxes year after year, write Johnny college essays, or give legal advice for free.
你要努力不贬低我们的时间价值。尽管你非常高兴在适合的时候做出贡献和推荐建议，但你并不想白白被其他人借助。你有足够的自尊和信心，合理地珍惜你的时间和精力，在你力所能及的时候提供帮助。但不要感觉自己被迫年复一年地为艾德娜阿姨报税，为约翰尼写大学论文，或者免费提供法律建议。
读完这篇文章你对于帮助朋友需不需要收钱有哪些更为独到的见解呢？欢迎给大家留言。
